Monday, July 1, 2013


Today, my sister told me I had a box of stuff that I could go through that I hadn't yet. This stuff was from my sophomore year of college. 

Yeah. A lot of weird happened in that year. I started my first legitimate journal in that year. It was a purple that I wrote in religiously...or so it seems that way. I also found some old notes/things that just aren't necessary to have. These things just aren't in my life anymore, and they probably make me bitter when I think about them...

so, I decided to delight in burning the old journal that held information that I'd rather not remember. Stuff that has already been dealt with. Stuff that I don't want to find one day years later and think about. The stuff that won't make me more contemplative or will most likely just make me wonder how I could have made different choices. Not healthy thoughts. 

Anyway, I decided to burn the pages of this journal. I couldn't even get the paper to light quickly...and it was taking forever to do. I knew I could throw it away and be done with it, but that didn't seem final enough to me. If it was burned, there was nothing left of it. Then it just became annoying, the wind was blowing, and I decided it's not even worth it to spend so much time on burning it. I threw it away, with some of the edges of the pages burnt. 

That's probably okay. I don't think it will show up any time soon. 

I didn't know just how long it would take to move forward from something that sucked hardcore. I've been moving forward, though. I guess there are just reminders every now and's like little tests that give me a chance to decide what I want to do with that stuff. I could dwell on it, for sure. No reason to, though. Those reminders are not truths in my life now. 

Praise God.

1 comment:

  1. these words are good.
    and so was your choice.
    i like it all.
    i like that the edges were singed and you just threw it away. i dig it all.
    theres some symbolism in it.
    i dont know what it is and im not that creative, but i imagine you could come up with it.

    i like that it is okay.
    its perfectly okay.

    moving forward reminded me of this camp song thing-
    i used to sing it to my nanny kids

    "cant go under it- cant go over it- gotta go through it"

    i love you.
    i love your words.
    and your life.
    "those reminders are not truths in my life now"